An intricate plot is being concocted. When and if it is announced, the effect will rain down like napalm on the spirit of San Francisco. It will burn, sting, corrode, destroy, and induce streams of tears from San Francisco sports fans. We will never be the same.

In a slick office suite in the Ferry Building, a team of lawyers at the firm of Coblentz, Patch, Duffy, and Bass are negotiating the deal between the 49ers and the City of Santa Clara. (The stadium deal might also include the Raiders, but let’s leave that for Oakland to worry about.) Among myriad  factors, they are negotiating tax breaks, private funding, public funding, construction costs, land acquisition costs, the price of seat licenses, corporate naming rights, and corporate luxury suites. The complexity of this deal approaches Warren Christopher and Richard Holbrooke’s negotiations to end the Bosnian War.

Over the past few years, we have caught the 49ers playing footsie with Santa Clara. Each public Santa Clara proclamation of dollar-love for the Niners has brought howls of San Francisco protest.
Now the plotters are only talking with each other, leaving the press and the fans out of the loop. All of the schemers hope their effort will lead to an announcement in the not-too-distant future, no doubt made from Santa Clara, with drawings of a new stadium, handshakes, smiles, and pats on the back. After 65 years, the San Francisco 49ers will disappear down the coast. But all is not yet lost.

In the taverns and on the playing fields of the Marina, I asked this single question: What can we do to keep the 49ers?

“Put a stadium near downtown. See what happened to the Giants? Everyone goes all the time.”
– Ryan Doremis

“[Bring back] Joe Montana for the star quality that he is. He’s the type of guy who can stir up the s**t to make something happen to save the team.”
– Alex Tung

“Slash the mixed-use Hunters Point development the City is trying to pin on the 49ers management. Dump that.”
– Chris DeWys

“My family has had season tickets since Candlestick was built. You have to have enough people to care. Somehow people have to actually get into saving the Niners. I can’t imagine the Santa Clara 49ers.”
– Steve Bruce

“Bring [former 49ers owner] Eddie DeBartolo back.”
– Joseph Robin

“Grassroots effort using Twitter. Like the Egyptian Spring and the rest of the Middle East. Get everyone riled up.”
– Scott Wilder

“Bring Willie Brown back. He can make magic happen.”
– Orlando Kelly

“Get rid of Alex Smith and get a quarterback that can win some games.”
– Randy Winston

“Too bad they didn’t build another stadium in Mission Bay.”
– Jeff Cahalan

“Take out the Giants parking lots and build a football stadium.”
– Kevin Zeller

“Set up road blocks on the 101.”
– Mark Davis

“The City needs to step up. Professional sports are a community activity and responsibility. I think the City should take action.”
– Bill Pearson

“I don’t think the city should spend millions of dollars.”
– Suzie Bell

“Bring back the Spiders.”
– Tess Heaton

“The 49ers are the new 39ers.”
– Michelle Liu

“You need a (Peter) Magowan, someone to pony up the dough.”
– Jim Westover

“I can’t go to Santa Clara and back because I drink too much when I go to games.”
– Anonymous softball third baseman

Steve Hermanos is is a real estate agent at 2200 Union Street. E-mail: [email protected]