BE HAPPY YOU MISSED THIS CAB
March 24, 4:10 a.m.
California Street at Fillmore
Officers were called on a well-being check of a cab driver who was passed out behind the wheel of his running cab. Officers found the driver passed out on the steering wheel. The doors were locked and it took several attempts to awaken the driver. The cab was in drive. The officers ordered the driver to put the vehicle in park and found that he was incapable, so they did it for him. They had the driver step out of the car and performed field sobriety tests, which he failed. He was given a breath test and was over two times the legal limit. He was arrested for drunk driving.

SHE MUST BE AN APRIL FOOL
April 1, 12:10 a.m.
Van Ness Avenue at California
Officers were driving in the area when they saw a scantly clad woman. They asked her what she was doing in the area and she replied, “Isn’t it obvious?” A computer check of her ID revealed she had a warrant out of Oakland for loitering for the purposes of prostitution. The 20-year-old Hayward resident was booked for her warrant out of Oakland.

REMEMBER TO LOCK YOUR CAR
April 3, 4:10 p.m.
Buchanan Street at North Point
Plainclothes officers were in the area when they heard a police dispatch about a guy casing parked cars. They saw someone matching the description and saw he was checking door handles. They watched as he entered a parked van and went through the contents of the vehicle. He emerged from the car with a duffle bag and began to walk away. The officers detained him and recovered the bag. The bag appeared to contain workout gear. The owner of the van was later located and positively identified the bag and contents as his. He did not give anyone permission to enter his van. The suspect was charged with several felonies.

OFF TO THREE HOTS AND A COT
April 3, 7:30 a.m.
Chestnut Street at Pierce
Officers noticed a guy sleeping in a doorway along Chestnut Street and stopped to investigate. Upon seeing the subject’s face, the officers recognized him as a wanted person. He was taken into custody and booked for the warrant.

NO FREE LUNCH HERE
April 9, 12:20 p.m.
California Street at Franklin
An officer responded to Whole Foods about a shoplifter. Store security followed a suspicious looking person. While being followed, the suspect selected and concealed store merchandise. He then walked out of the store, making no attempt to pay for the items. Security detained the subject and called the police. The officer responded and took the man into custody. The suspect was cited and released for the theft.

SUPERMARKET PSYCHO BEHIND BARS
April 10, 7:37 a.m.
Marina Boulevard at Laguna
Officers responded to Safeway regarding a call about a person making threats. When they arrived, they met with an employee who explained that he told a known shoplifter to leave the store. The employee explained that this suspect became agitated and threatened to strike the employee. A patron was watching this incident when the suspect turned on him. The suspect threatened to kill and cut the patron, who was just trying to do some shopping. The patron was afraid, and explained this to the police. Other officers on patrol located the suspect in the area. The victims identified him, and he went to jail for the threats.

THERE’S NO APP FOR THAT
April 16, 10 p.m.
Fillmore Street at Beach
Plainclothes officers were in the area attempting to locate and identify possible burglary suspects. They noticed a suspicious individual and started to follow him. The officers watched as he slowly walked a line of parked cars, looking into the vehicles. They continued to follow him as he looked into alleyways and doorways. After some time of following and observing his suspicious activity, they decided to stop him. The officers determined that he was on parole for a drug offence, and searched him, finding an iPhone in his possession. The officers noticed a message from the owner of the phone attempting to secure its return. They contacted the owner and found that the phone was taken in a car break-in while in the Presidio. The subject was arrested for the stolen property.

PANHANDLING DIDN’T PAY OFF
April 17, 9:50 a.m.
Union Street at Buchanan
In February, investigators from the Northern Station team issued a Wanted Bulletin for a subject that panhandles in front of an ATM. Besides panhandling, the subject would wait for someone to forget an ATM card in the machine and before time expired, withdraw money from their account. He managed to do it several times before authorities caught on. On this date, two sergeants recognized the wanted suspect, took him into custody, and charged him with the felony.

DINE-AND-DASHER PAYS THE PRICE
April 20, 1:30 p.m.
Fisherman’s Wharf area
A man strolled into a prominent Wharf area eatery and said he had left his jacket there two years ago. An astute manager recognized him as someone who had run out on a tab two years ago and still had the man’s jacket. The manager stalled him and called nearby security to detain him. Upon being presented a bill for $240, the suspect denied the tab was his, but said the jacket was. An SFPD officer arrived and confronted the suspect, asking him if the jacket was his, then the tab must be, too. The suspect paid the tab and was not arrested.

Incident reports listed here are based on witness statements as recorded by the reporting officers and are compiled by Cow Hollow Clyde.