Happy 2015, faithful readers!
We’ve all just emerged from a boisterous period of celebration, and you’re probably as exhausted as I am from cooking, decorating, gift-wrapping, gift unwrapping, and stuffing yourselves with foods you know are bad for you. Enough with the champagne and sugary treats — it’s time to get serious and eat our kale.
Let’s buckle down!
But of course, it’s also tempting to commemorate an upcoming succession of days that have never existed before. In other words, why stop celebrating now? We can sleep when there’s nothing left to buy or eat.
These days, anyone can invent wacky new holidays and have them recognized, in one way or another. The month of January gives evidence: Did you know there are actual “official” holidays such as Happy Mew Year For Cats Day (Jan. 2), National Bubble Bath Day (Jan. 8) and Penguin Awareness Day (Jan. 20)?
Yes! These holidays exist on certain calendars, along with Static Electricity Day (Jan. 9), Eat Your Brussels Sprouts Day (Jan. 31) and National Kazoo Day (Jan. 28). There’s Dress Up Your Pet Day on Jan. 14 and one meant just for me: Peculiar People Day on Jan. 10.
So I was thinking: Why shouldn’t our unique city have its very own holidays? There are some spare dates left in January on which to situate new ones, and I wondered, what could I invent to honor the decision Peter and I made five years ago to move here from New York City?
Jan. 1: I know it’s New Year’s Day, but it would also be a perfect time for Gloating Day. We are all spending this day sleeping off the festivities of the night before, however — and this is a big “however” that makes me glad I live here now and not in wintry climes — let’s remember that when we do go outside, we do not step into a large pile of snow or generally freeze to go to a friend’s for brunch. Gloating has been one of my favorite pastimes since relocating, and I think it’s time we all share its joys. So let’s formalize an official day for doing it. Resolve to take so much pleasure in our moderate climate that at least once a year, it spills over into gloating.
Jan. 5: Take a Selfie Next to a Palm Tree and Send it to a Snowbound Friend Day. This is a natural corollary of Gloating Day. And it’s so easy, with all our smart phone cameras now. Hug the palm tree and snap. Then, to honor the day, send to as many winter-burdened friends as you dare.
Jan. 17: Appreciate Our Hills Day. Each may celebrate in his or her own way, either by actually traversing a pitchy hill or sitting and staring at one, imagining climbing it. I choose the latter, a sedentary celebration.
Jan. 15: San Francisco Trivia Day. Where can you find the world’s oldest working light bulb? It’s over at the Livermore Fire Station, and it’s been burning since 1901. Where is Wyatt Earp buried? Hills of Eternity Memorial Park in Colma. Celebrate these and other bits of Bay Area uniqueness annually. I envision people walking up to each other on the street and flinging bits of knowledge about. A day to celebrate the little known!
Jan. 20: Stop and Smell The Eucalyptus Day. Don’t revile the invasive species, but rather honor it by letting its perfume in. A great day for your sinuses, and a nice way to slow down and appreciate what’s around you.
Jan. 24: Pacific Ocean Appreciation Day. This is an easy one for everyone to celebrate. Businesses will probably have to close since we’ll all be at the beach.
Jan. 30: Create More Parking Spaces Day. Take public transportation. You’ll be amazed at how many parking spaces will open up on this wonderful new holiday. Why, it may point the way to the future! Or it may be responsible for an uptick in homicides, as people who honor the day get uncontrollably furious at those who use the day to park wherever they want. I may have to rethink this one.
All considerations aside, there’s so much that distinguishes our town from others, I’ve thrown these few suggestions into the hat for consideration.
I’d love to know if you come up with any as well. Send me your ideas — and yes, we’ll celebrate them!